You Say I Only Hear What I Want To...

OK Stork Supporters, it’s game time.  I’m going to give you a name and you say the first thing that comes to you mind.  Ready?  OK, go!:

Lisa Loeb.

Musician.  Guitar.  Ethan Hawke and Winona Ryder in the cult movie classic, Reality Bites.  ‘90’s awesome-ness.  You get my drift.

If you’re anything like me, the name “Lisa Loeb” immediately transports you back to 1994 with its oversized sweaters, leggings and Doc Martins.  I’m going to go ahead and ignore the fact that I almost passed out when I realized it’s been 17 years since Lisa Loeb crooned, “You Say I Only Hear What I Want To…” in the background as Ethan and Winona fell in love onscreen.  Oh my goodness, 17 years??  It feels like only yesterday my girlfriends and I were sitting around sharing popcorn, singing Lisa’s song and gossiping about just how adorable Ethan Hawke was in his white tees and ripped jeans. 

Well, flash forward to 2012 and Lisa Loeb has reinvented herself.  This time she’s taken up writing and singing kids’ songs and books.  My new favorite book was a gift for my kids (but the gift giver knew me well enough to know I’d enjoy it, too … thank you, Sari!).  Lisa’s book comes with a CD of the songs from the book.  So, when you and your kids get hooked on the catchy songs (and you will get hooked), you can follow allow with the book and laugh as the silly lyrics.  The Silly Sing-Along contains oldies like the one about a cracked coconut living in a coco hut as well as Lisa-originals such the ditty about a “disappointing” pancake who was hard as a rock and inedible at breakfast but finds success multi-tasking as a satellite, pillow, and more.

I have to be honest, at first this book made me feel old remembering the Lisa Loeb from my teenage years.  But then I realized it’s a great way to connect the past with the present and it’s an even greater way to instantly bring smiles to my kids’ faces – and mine, too! 

Happy Singing.

Sincerely,

From the Stork’s Nest~

Liz

What's For Dinner?

I become stressed every day around 4:00 in the afternoon….what to make for dinner that everyone will eat?  Not only is it that my children (three in total) get bored with my recipes, but they all have likes and dislikes, which makes it difficult to cook one meal to please everyone.  There are times when one child will opt out of dinner for cereal or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, which becomes more of a frustration to me.

I have been trying to battle this issue for a number of years, and have never really solved it.  I have tried only serving the classic “kid-friendly” foods:  chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, hot dogs, grilled cheese, etc.  I am no health-buff, but these foods are so processed and we all know not the best selection for growing bodies and brains.  I can only go a short time with these foods (which the kids gobble up, by the way), before I eliminate them from our family’s diet for a few months.

My kids do like some healthy foods, especially any kind of fruit and a lot of raw veggies – they eat some kind of fruit or veggie at every meal, and sometimes they will only eat the fruit or veggie when presented with their meal.

As I continually search for solutions to these problems, I often end up reverting back to old habits, making the same meals and offering the cereal.

This week my 6-year-old happened to be sitting at the table while I was writing my grocery list.   I asked him what he would like for dinners for the week, which he actually answered and gave me some great ideas. My 4-year-old overheard our conversation and quickly chimed in with what he would like for dinners, which wasn’t all that different then what my 6-year-old requested.  Of course there was the pizza request, which I squashed, stating that pizza was for a special occasion (aka - when mommy ran out of time or energy to cook dinner).  The rest of the requests, with a little input from mommy, were reasonable, healthy and doable! 

We are only on day two of our menus this week, but so far so good.  All three have cleaned their plate, and the cereal box has sat in the cabinet.

Three pretty cool things happened with the change in menu planning this week. 

                1.  My kids are proud of themselves for having contributed to the family.

                2.  My kids are actually eating what they said they would eat (and healthfully to boot).

3. I have less stress and frustration at dinner time, which makes me a better mommy for my children!

As Liz mentioned last week in her blog, the lessons keep on coming….

Sincerely,

From the Stork’s Nest~

Rebecca

And The Lessons Keep Coming...

I have learned so many lessons since becoming a parent: about myself and about others. It amazes me that even four years into this parenthood game, the lessons just keep coming.  They can be small or they can be big but each one of them provides something so important to take with me as new parenting challenges unfold.  Today: another important lesson arose out of what seems like a fairly simple story. 

I have wanted to attend weekly Story Hour at our local library for the past four years.  No joke, I have intended to go for FOUR years but something always seemed to come up and we never attended.  In all honesty, I assumed it would be a librarian sitting in the middle simply reading a picture book.  So, I wanted to take my kids but I never went completely out of my way to attend because it sounded, well, boring.  Yesterday my neighbor shared she was attending Story Hour this morning.  It was the perfect opportunity to bring my two year old daughter and go along with her so we packed up and made it happen.

Once we arrived and walked into the beautiful community room at our local library I knew I had assumed incorrectly.  The librarian was fantastic and had puppets, music, shakers, and other props to keep the kids’ (and parents’!) attentions.  The hour was fast paced and entertaining.  I watched my daughter happily dancing and clapping along and I found myself doing the same thing.  I had so idea we were missing so much!  I silently kicked myself for not bringing my children sooner.

As we walked home from the library, I thought about how important it is to try new things.  I always thought I was open to new ideas and different things, but how often do I just assume I know exactly how something is going to play out?  We all know the famous quote about making assumptions…  I’ll try my best to be thinking of it more often going forward.  And you can bet we’ll be back dancing at Story Hour again soon.

Sincerely, 

From the Stork’s Nest~

Liz

Wash It Away

How do you keep track of all the cute, funny and brilliant things your kids say and do?  Some scrapbook, some keep a good ole fashioned baby book, some document with photos.  I have found, and felt tremendous guilt, that my first born is VERY well documented, baby book is pretty full with all the brilliant things he has done and said in his first few years.  Now, my poor third child hasn’t had a thing written in her book (and she just turned two).  I have a pile of all her measurements from her well-baby check-ups from birth to now, but they sit in my desk drawer paper clipped together for when I have time to write them down in her baby book (the baby book I bought when she was six months old, and now cannot find anywhere, mind you).   Guilt, guilt, guilt.  It has come to pass that now I haven’t kept up-to-date with writing any of my children’s milestones.  I had to estimate when my second born hit his milestones recently for a health history I had to fill out for him, and felt awful about it.

I’ve heard and read different moms’ approaches to remembering milestones and achievements from not doing anything to being in a scrapbooking group with other friends who meet monthly to emailing themselves things to remember the kids did.  I have tried each of these approaches and, well, they just aren’t working for me, and the guilt continues to build!

As I try and find a solution, I continually ask myself “why do moms put so much pressure on ourselves?”  Will Junior really care if mom hasn’t written when he slept through the night for the first time or what his favorite pureed baby food was?  I think he may more want to remember how his mom sat and played Lego’s with him on the floor for two hours or took him to the awesome playground and played hide and seek. 

The Stork~spiration that we posted the other day was “Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory.”  This hit me, as I realized the importance of making these memories for my children now for them to carry with them forever.  It washed the guilt away, and I am happy for that!

Sincerely,

From the Stork’s Nest~

Rebecca

Do you struggle with guilt issues that become overwhelming for you?  Call Stork Support.  Parenthood is challenging, Stork Support can help.  Stork Support, LLC provides home-based counseling and resources to families during pregnancy, after baby arrives, through the toddler years and beyond.  As featured on ABC Action News, Stork Support delivers counseling to your doorstep with in-home visits, online video calls or telephone sessions so you can get support without having to leave your home no matter where you live.  Visit www.storksupport.com for more information.

Alex's Best Friend, Seamus Dog

Artwork by Michael Schwartz

“We resonate with one another’s sorrow because we are interconnected. Being whole and simultaneously part of a larger whole, we can change the world simply by changing ourselves. If I become a center of love and kindness in this moment, then in a perhaps small but hardly insignificant way, the world now has a nucleus of love and kindness it lacked the moment before. This benefits me and it benefits others.” Loving Kindness Meditation from the book Wherever  You Go There You Are  By Jon Kabat Zinn

Every time I hear Sarah Chang perform with her violin it reminds me to be a better person. Our dog, Seamus, has this ability. He is one of the sweetest beings I know. If anyone of us is hurt he knows where somehow he senses it. Whether it is bloody, bruised or of an emotional nature. He will lick that spot or simply bless you with the sunshine of his company.

My Mom, JoAnne, commented on this. On a recent visit her leg hurt, Seamus knew and licked that exact place. Seamus knows Alex needs a helper dog. While Seamus had “What a good dog” lessons at a mansion close by where a movie was filmed….he only retained the word “off” since we were too lazy to reinforce the lessons learned there. “Off” can be used for jumping with exuberance, a sandwich you want to eat etc…However, Seamus has self-trained himself to be Alex’s helper dog.

Seamus kisses Alex almost as much as we do. Seamus knows his love helps Alex thrive.  Alex learned to pat his knee as a sign for dog. He does this to call Seamus. When Seamus kisses him, Alex reaches for the white fur of Seamus’s neck to pull him closer. This relationship amazes me.  I recently heard on NPR a program about animals and how their personality and relationships are a new area of study.  On the radio program a caller recounted how she accidentally killed a squirrel and the other squirrel came back to the road to say goodbye with sadness.

We sing the song, from Clifford, “Brush, Brush your teeth Brush them every day, Up and down round and round scrub the germs away.” Seamus comes in to help distract Alex. He knows. Seamus is not a dog, he is a personal care assistant in black and white fur.

Mealtime is Seamus’s reward. Alex is still learning to feed himself. Any crumb or dropped cookie, Seamus is on it.  Our new Ikea high chair, twenty dollars versus our Prego two-hundred fifty that Michael accidentally ran over…another blog….  Upsets Seamus because it is harder to mooch crumbs since it is level with the table. It helps Alex sit straight as a ballerina.

The gorgeous bond Alex and Seamus have is like an old married couple. I remember when I brought baby puppy Seamus. Our other dog, Emma Grace, had been hit and killed by a car. Eight days later I appeared at Michael’s office with Seamus. I knew there would be a room full of people so Michael would have to love the puppy. I remember  Sam saying in his best eighteen month old voice, “ My new Bubbie Wubbie bites a little bit.” He is a Border Collie. He was teething then.  He would nip Josh on the tooshie. Never hurt anyone, just chewed a lot!

Now if we say, “Turn off the TV!” It is as if Seamus knows the English. He repeats with the same beat, “Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, WOOF!” He always emphasizes that last syllable.  He translates in dog. Alex will know, English, Hebrew, Signing and Dog.  Seamus is a huge part of our rainbow of blessings.

Seamus says more without English. I am an ELL teacher and my first puppy, Maggie, was my first ELL professor.  She had no words but we always knew what she meant by her expression, the time of day or her tail what she was communicating. Alex is like Maggie, Emma Grace and Seamus. We know what he says without English. I know it will come. We are patiently waiting for the miracle of his words.

A Mom in my district once told me that a hug is the best therapy. I would add a great dog, Seamus and  love are too. Woof, woof, woof WOOF! Translation, Seamus, We love YOU! 

Sincerely,

As a Guest in the Stork’s Nest~

Mama Nancy

Time-Out!

Liz and I often talk to our clients and write in our blog the importance of moms taking care of themselves, making time for just you, celebrating you as a woman and a mother.  These are all very important and ways that we, as moms, can continue being the best we can be for our families.

So what happens when your beautiful two-year-old daughter has meltdown after meltdown, tantrum after tantrum and someone in the exchange, either mommy or daughter, desperately needs a time-out?  I have been finding for the last few weeks, that I am that person that needs the time-out most!  I am a “seasoned” parent, I should know how to handle these types of things, right?!?!?  The short answer is, nope!

Today was particularly challenging with my independent, strong-willed little lady, and I felt myself getting to that point of boiling over.  My sons were also there, and are pretty oblivious to her crying and tantruming, the main reaction they have is turning the television volume up so they can hear whatever show they are watching over her screams.  I’m not even going to bore you with the reasons that sent her over the edge, as they are the most mundane (to me anyway) things of everyday life you could imagine.  I am going to tell you that after multiple attempts at ignoring the behavior, placing her in time-out, asking her to tell or show me what she wanted, she continued to rage on.  So I decided, I was putting myself in time-out, literally.

I went to our family’s time-out spot, sat down on the floor and did not speak to anyone (even my sons who were hysterical that I actually did this).  I sat in time-out to calm myself down, as I was just about at my wits end.  I sat there for about five minutes, with my eyes closed and deeply breathing for about three of them.   The irony of this situation is, that when my daughter saw that mommy was in time-out, she stopped her ranting and raving and just stared at me.

 

When I removed myself from time-out, I felt much more calm and able to deal with the situation at hand.  This is the first time in six and a half years that I have done such a thing, and it worked!  She immediately came over to me and gave me a hug and said in her way – sorry mommy. 

I have realized from this day that I could have eight kids and continue to learn and find new strategies to deal with the different personalities all kids have.  There is no one-way or no right-way, and sometimes it takes a mommy or daddy time-out to learn what THE-way in the present situation is.

Sincerely,

From the Stork’s Nest~

Rebecca 

Sweet Success

These last few weeks have been hectic.  My kids.  Work.  Social activities.  Spring has sprung and it seems like the calendar has been full to the brim.  Every two years the February – March period is busy for professional reasons, too.  Every two years continuing education credits are due.  In all honesty, it’s a process I dread: gathering class certificates, counting credits, completing paperwork.  You get my drift.   

In addition to my professional license, I earned an advanced certificate in Children, Youth and Family Social Work several years ago.  Renewing this certificate always ends the same: with a bright, shiny gold sticker arriving in the mail which is intended to be affixed to my social work license.  This year my gold sticker just happened to arrive the same day my son came home with a similar gold sticker awarded after he listened well at preschool.  And, it hit me.  We issue stickers and stamps and other goodies to our kids on a regular basis, but why don’t we offer similar rewards to adults?

Think about it for a minute.  When was the last time you got a high five, a certificate of appreciation or a paper award with a big ole smiling trophy a la the ones issued to our children in school?  When was the last time you got to pick a sticker from the big roll at YOUR doctor’s office for not crying during a shot?  Or, at YOUR dentist when you didn’t cry during your root canal?  For some reason as we grew, society forgot how important those little tangible rewards are and we were left without any regular reward system that we could see and touch in place. 

I say it’s time to change that, Stork Supporters!  I think it’s time we start rewarding ourselves with tangible goodies.  Now, clearly, as adults paper stickers probably don’t mean that much to us.  But, what if we swapped out stickers for a day at the spa?  Or, a peaceful dinner alone at our favorite restaurant?  Or for 30 minutes of quiet time to meditate or read a book? 

As parents we plan, prepare, manage, execute and accomplish so many things each day.  And whether or not they go exactly as planned, we still tried our very best.  It’s about time we start giving ourselves the credit we deserve and the rewards we so desperately need.  So the next time you feel guilty for taking some much needed “me-time,” remember back on all the “stickers” you earned over the week, give yourself a big ole proverbial pat on the back, and bask in your successes.

Sincerely,

From the Stork’s Nest ~

Liz