The Tea Test

I was eating lunch with colleagues a few days ago and the conversation turned to manicures.  A few women said they have never experienced a manicure.  Others – myself included – said a manicure would be lovely but we hadn’t had one in years.  As the conversation continued, all of the women present said they simply couldn’t commit an hour of their time to just “sitting having their fingers done” when they have so much to do in their busy lives.  I found myself agreeing.  Then lunchtime was over, we wrapped up our respective Tupperware, and parted ways.

The manicure conversation stuck with me.  Just why is it when given the opportunity for alone time it can be hard to accept and truly enjoy the “me” time?  After all, “me” time is essential to relax, rejuvenate and refill our inner-cups so we can continue to give to others on a daily basis.  Any parent knows just what I’m talking about here.  This thought stayed on my mind for the next several days.

Then came what I am now referring to as the “Tea Test.”  You see, I drink several cups of tea throughout the day and like to prepare the hot water in my microwave.  Often I will prepare the water in my mug, put said mug in the microwave, and their either dip the bag in the tea and forget about it OR completely forget I even started the microwave and find the cold, abandoned mug inside the microwave hours later.  I used to just reheat the same mug multiple times throughout the day and laugh to myself about how I must have gotten distracted.  But since the manicure conversation, I have realized that on the days I need to reheat my mug that must mean I am simply taking on too much and am being pulled in way too many different directions.  I have started to use the “Tea Test” as a reminder to slow down and remember that when given a few minutes to myself I need to take it.  It may not be a weekly manicure, but even a few minutes of quiet time or meditation can do a world of good. 

Rebecca and I both understand the importance of “me” time – not only in our own lives, but in the lives of our Stork Support clients.  This is exactly why we’ve created Stork Support’s Mom-me Sessions – they’re an hour long mommy meet up for mothers to chat with us.  We lead a discussion about typical issues that face mothers – from mommy guilt and exhaustion to tension with partners and other real-life issues – all the while discussing coping strategies and letting the group take the discussion to wherever it may lead.  Stork Support’s Mom-me Sessions are a wonderful way to meet other moms in the area to forge lasting supportive relationships as well as take well-deserved “me” time.  Stork Support’s Mom-me Sessions are coming to Nurture in Ardmore in January – stay tuned for more information and we hope to see you there!

Sincerely, 

From the Stork’s Nest~

Liz   

As featured on ABC Action News, Stork Support, LLC provides home-based counseling and resources during pregnancy, after baby arrives, during the toddler years and beyond. Visit www.storksupport.com to learn more.

The Stork's Holiday Tips

All in the Family

How to Survive the Holidays with Extended Family

1.  Open communication is key!  Think about how you want your holiday to be before Great Aunt Milly makes plans FOR your family.  Include your partner and children (if they are older) as to what they would like.  Come to an agreement with your immediate family and stick to it, so everyone has the holiday they want.

2.  Be clear with extended family members as to what your plans are.  If Aunt Molly, Uncle Joe, Cousins Kelly, Jim, Brian, Tom, Ed, Mary and Linda want to come to your house for the grand holiday celebration to see your baby and toddler, let them know that you are planning on celebrating on a smaller scale, but would love to plan a visit at another time.

3.  Ask for help!  If you are planning on hosting a holiday meal or family party, take those generous offers of bringing a dish or drink to share with the crowd.

4.  Remain flexible!  If all your plans don’t happen, don’t fret!  It can sometimes be a nice surprise to drive around and look at the decorated houses with hot chocolate rather than rushing home to get the kids to bed after a long day of family time.  Often it is these times when memories are made, and those that especially children remember.

5.  Have fun and enjoy the holiday.  If you are stressed that you haven’t baked enough kinds of cookies, or you haven’t gotten Grandma her Hanukkah gift, your mood will rub off on your household!  It will get done, even if it’s a little late, I assure you that your family will be glad to have you present, happy and in the holiday spirit!

Over the River and Through the Woods…

How to Keep Your Sanity During Holiday Travel with Your Tots

1.  Tell your child exactly where you are going and how you will get there.  It will take some of the uncertainty out of the trip for him.

2.  Get excited – even if you’re bluffing.  The truth is if you’re thrilled to be taking a seven-hour plane ride to Grandma’s, then Junior will be, too.  Remind your tot how lucky he is to be on this adventure!

3.  Be realistic.  Do you really need four sippy cups, seven stuffed animals and three pairs of shoes for baby?  The less you bring, the lighter the load you’ll have to pack into the car or pull at the train station or airport.

4.  Make a list and check it twice.  Santa shouldn’t be the only one with a list.  Whether you honor Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or any other holiday, write down everything you want to accomplish before the travel date arrives.  This can help organize your thoughts and keep you focused. 

5.  Snacks, snacks, snacks!  This is the time to splurge and let little Timmy pack his favorite snacks, even if they’re things you otherwise don’t let him have.  Even better, let Timmy pack them with you so he feels like he’s helped.

6.  Be prepared with games and busy activities.  And remember, the old school games we played as kids are still just as fun as they were back then.  A good game of “I-Spy” or “Name that Tune” is sure to make your family smile while on the road.

7.  And our favorite: story telling.  Sharing family stories is a great way to pass the time whether on the road, waiting in the airport or on the tracks.  Whether your baby is too young to understand or your older kids are listening with peeked interest, story telling is a wonderful way for you and the kids to bring the past into the future.

Sincerely,

From the Stork’s Nest~

Liz & Rebecca

Stork Support, LLC provides home-based counseling and resources during pregnancy, after baby arrives, during the toddler years and beyond.  Stork Support eliminates the need for parents to leave the house with baby in tow or arrange for childcare because we provide licensed, experienced therapists to their doorstep.  Stork Support  was created by Liz Bland, MSW, LSW, C-ACYFSW and Rebecca Colonna, MSW, LSW.  For more information about Stork Support, please visit our updated website at www.storksupport.com and on Facebook.

The Cup is Always Half Full....

We went to see PopPop Saturday.  Sam, our second son who is eight years wise, said how sad he and Josh, our almost ten year-old, are about PopPop.  Sam explained that “Alex is especially sad because PopPop loves him so much.”  How can a boy Sam’s age understand how profoundly we all LOVE PopPop?

Last night we went to Grandma and PopPop's again. We had take-out pizza and pasta with Aunt Ellen and our nephew Jake and niece Jordan.  Ellen had us all laughing and sharing time with our parents in ways that brought us all close with tenderness and love.

Ellen joked how the day before when I gave Alex an open cup of water my husband, Michael, remarked, “Your cup is too full.”  We giggled how usually people lament that their cup is half empty.  Others, like our friend Alison, said, “My cup is always half full.”

I think about this often.  Is it half full if there is only a drop?  I gave Alex a sippy cup of lemonade.  Ellen laughed, “How full is it?” since it is a red super hero opaque.  I laugh back “too full!” smiling at Michael. Really, this is a decision we make.  “Happiness is an inside job.” Our neighbor Kit's uncle explained to us long ago before we had children. We each decide to make up our minds about how happy we are.

Alex is often happy, but not always.  Just like anyone, sometimes he is tired, angry, hungry, sick, or lonely.  Remember HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired), stop and look underneath what is it?  When Alex smiles or giggles the sun comes out.  There is a light and warmth I have not ever seen before Alex joined our family. 

This summer we went to Disney World with PopPop and Grandma.  The time we were there was some of the best in our lives.  Loving, laughing, joyful, tired, grumpy, lonely, angry, sick from too much delicious food....together.   How LUCKY we all are to have spent that time with each other. They say through loss comes kindness and the pain is only as great as the love.

The memory of PopPop laughing with Alex two times through on the Toy Story ride, sharing meals at the Shades of Green, walks, sunny weather, meals with Grandma and PopPop, Aunt Rhoda's home and lunch with her, Josh searching out lizards until we dragged him away and Sam giggling like I have never seen before or since and sharing the time is etched on our hearts forever.

PopPop, we LOVE you and hold you in the light always in all ways.

Sincerely, As a Guest in the Stork’s Nest~

Mama Nancy

**Stay tuned for another blog from Mama Nancy next month!**

Artwork by Michael Schwartz 

 

How to Prepare for Hospital Bedrest

If you are lucky, you have some time to prepare for bedrest. Sometimes it just hits you…I like to say like a pickle truck. Not sure where I got that expression or if there are even pickle trucks out there but it sounds funny.

First and foremost, you have to mentally prepare. Calm your mind. Don’t go into the “what if” mode and freak out. Practice “mind like water”. Picture a calm lake early in the morning with no ripples at all. Keep your mind in that state. Whenever you feel your mind going into the dark place, picture that lake, calm and glassy.

There is really nothing you can do other than lay in your hospital bed. What is meant to be will be. You are in the best possible place when you are in the hospital on bedrest so have peace in that.

Call in support…family, friends, co-workers. People really do want to help you so let them. Your husband can really do it. Mine did. Was it hard? Yes! But you are also doing the hard work trying to keep a baby (or babies) in your belly so why not split the work. It might actually bring you closer.

I was very fortunate to have family and friends that helped. We rotated visits…one week my mom, one week my in-laws, one week my dad, one week my friend, then back to my mom. Even a few days of getting someone to help with household chores or to bring you a decent meal helped in more ways than you can imagine. Mealtrain.com or Mealbaby.com is a great website that can help organize meal deliveries.

What to pack?

Well, honestly everything that is on www.bedrestbutler.com were the ESSENTIAL things that made hospital bedrest bearable for me. (which is why we started this business)

1. Bed pillow
2. Bed tray
3. Bed jacket
4. Comfy blanket
5. Comfy PJs, tank tops and underwear
6. Bedrest Kits…everything in those kits I used first hand!
1. Grooming kit
2. Spa/pedi kit
3. Entertainment kit
4. Treats kit
7. Small cooler for food
8. Laptop, ipad, smartphone

If you have kids at home, you can make your hospital bedrest into an adventure. Make their visits fun. Order in pizza and let them climb into your hospital bed with you. Yeah, there may be crumbs in your bed later, but you can get a nurse to change your linens later.

Use a DVD player to watch a movie with your little ones. You can snuggle while you watch it. It is calming for you and fun for the kids. Let your kids know this won’t be forever but that you are making sure their little brother or sister is going to be healthy. Give your kids special treats for behaving while they are in hospital. Maybe they can go to the gift shop and get a piece of gum or a candy when they leave. If you can go out in a wheelchair, you can do little excursions around the hospital with your kids. Trust me, it is harder on your than on your kids. They will hardly remember this time. So make the most of your visits and know you are doing this for your family.

Things that really got me through my days were:

1. Zoning out on tv and movies
2. Mini mani/pedis my mom gave me
3. Meals and treats from friends
4. Surfing the internet (Facebook mostly)
5. Kindle (didn’t have the Ipad then)
6. Legs/eyebrow waxes from my good friend who is an esthetician
7. Massage (my nurse was also a masseuse and gave me one!)
8. Journaling
9. Talking with friends (I had a friend that called me every morning and every night)
10. Online shopping (I was on bedrest during Christmas)

Remember that you are strong and you can do this!

Sincerely,

As a Guest in the Stork’s Nest~

BedRest Butler Kelly

Bedrest Butler LLC is an online store for pregnant moms on bed rest. Bedrest Butler offers hand-picked products recommended most by moms on bed rest.  Kelly Gould and Pamela Marie Meyer, a mother and daughter team, created this company after Kelly was in the hospital for 63 days on bed rest and pregnant with twin boys. We relieve the constraints of bed rest and make it easier. We know that being on bed rest can be miserable, so our mission is to bring our Mom’s comfort and joy while they await their girl or boy! We offer bed pillows, bed trays, comfy blanket/throws, bed rest kits, lounge wear, radiation belly blankets, and bed jackets.