Pass the Mommy Guilt, Please

I have always been grateful to my mom that she kept such a great baby book of my childhood, which I have enjoyed reading periodically.  I wanted to give my children the same lasting memory of the timeline of their accomplishments as infants, toddlers and young children.  I had a baby book, bought and ready to be written in as soon as my first son was born (and I did keep up with keeping track of his likes/dislikes, sleeping patterns, etc).  My second son came along, and I was able to get a book for him before he turned two months old.  I was pretty impressed with myself, yet wasn’t as regimented at writing things down, and as time drew on, I began to make up some dates of accomplishments up (be sure not to tell him).  I had a good idea of how old he was when he slept through the night for the first time, so I just picked a date in that month. 

The mommy guilt surely crept on in when my daughter was born.  I didn’t purchase a book for her until she was almost 6 months old, hadn’t written down one milestone, and just felt awful as a mom.  The more time drew on, the more overwhelming a task it became.  I’m sorry to say that to this day, the book I bought for her has not even been written in (she is 18 months old).  Guilt, guilt, guilt!

I was sharing the level of guilt I had with a few friends about six months ago.  I, happily, learned that most of my friends, who have had more than one child, have had the same experience.  One friend said that she emails herself different milestones her children have made and, when she has time (who has time?) she is going to complete some type of memory book for her children.  Another mom shared that she writes everything down on the calendar hanging on the fridge, and has the same intention of preparing a book sometime in the future. 

I learned two very important lessons from my guilt disclosure with my friends.  The mommy guilt never goes away, but there is solace in knowing that it’s okay not to be “Super Mom.”  It’s comforting to hear others experience the same feelings that I have.  I also learned there are “tricks” that every mom has, to eventually accomplish the goals we set out to do.  Sharing our experiences and feelings can bring peace-of-mind that we are not the only ones feeling a certain way, but just one mom in this community of amazing moms!

Sincerely,

From the Stork’s Nest~

Rebecca