Potty Time

Every year when we’d ask my Grandma (fondly known as Grams) what she wanted for her birthday, she’d say the same thing: “Time.”  We’d laugh, she’d flash her amazing smile and we’d keep asking trying to get a tangible answer.  How about a watch?  Would a new clock do?  We knew it wasn’t a timepiece she was asking for, but we’d joke with her.  Her answer right up until her last birthday when she was in her 90s was always the same: “I want time.”  Followed by that smile.

I never quite understood where my Grams was coming from until I became a parent.  Most recently I understood because my almost 4-year old son seems to have suddenly gone from baby to little boy practically overnight.  I asked him the other day if he remembered being in my belly, to which he replied, “Yes, it was wet.”  As if that reply didn’t almost kill me, when he saw I was getting misty-eyed because, as I explained, “you’re growing up so quickly,” he quickly replied, “Oh Mommy, don’t worry, I still love you.”

I have to admit, I don’t always remember how quickly time can pass.  Some days when I’m caught up in the daily grind of it all, I can forget.  I think most parents can.  Just last night I was reminded. 

My husband and I have spent the better part of the last year attempting to potty train our son.  Preschool wanted him trained “before he entered class,” so we became obsessed with making “the deadline.”  As you can imagine, that did not work.  We tried reading him potty books, we used Cheerios as targets, we gave M&Ms as rewards, we purchased hundreds of stickers to use as incentives all in an effort to attempt to win our boy over away from his beloved diapers.  Nothing worked – it just was not sinking in.  We did loads and loads (and loads) of laundry.  Knee deep in disinfectant and soap, we begged for time to pass for him to “get it.”  Eventually, we gave up.  We decided to stop putting so much pressure on him and that he would get it on his own when he was ready.

Time passed.  Then, one day, my husband suddenly sat right up and exclaimed, “We haven’t had any accidents in, like, WEEKS!”  It was true.  Almost like that first night our son slept through the night: we awoke with a startle – would it be, he slept through the night??  Could it be, he’s actually potty trained??

We’ve gone months now without accidents.  Diapers are a thing of the past!  But just last night I heard my Grams’ voice in my mind…wishing for time.  How could I have wished time away?  First he’s potty trained, next he’ll be in elementary school, eventually it’ll be Prom, he’ll be driving off to college, getting a job, having a family and potty training his own little boy. 

Parents are not perfect.  We’re learning the ropes as we go.  One lesson I know we all need to remember is not to wish time away.  To try to be present in each moment, to find the joy in every thing – even the stressful stuff.  I wish my Grams was here for me to tell her she was right!  Instead, I’ll keep her voice in my head as a reminder and try to make her proud.  …And, of course, smile. 

Sincerely,

From the Stork’s Nest ~

Liz

Will You Be My Friend?

As many first time parents, after the birth of my oldest son, I was home, with this beautiful baby and no friends who were in my same position (new mom, no longer working, etc.).  I loved being home with my son, but it became lonely and isolating, which is often how I’ve heard new moms describe their experiences.  It was time to make some friends.  How do you make friends with people like you as an adult?  As children, college students and employees, making friends is pretty easy, as you automatically are in the same place both physically and figuratively.  But there I was, at home having to learn where to go to meet other moms. 

I don’t think I ever had to work so hard in my life to find friends in the same place as myself.  It was a challenge, and one that required lots of effort to put myself out there.  It felt like I was scoping the library baby story time for a date…saying hello, asking how old is their child is, where they live.  Those were the easy questions, but taking it to the next level was tougher, and one that took some courage to accomplish.  Once I established these wonderful relationships, there were people from which I could seek advice (that wasn’t my mom), people with which I could share my feelings and woes about being a mom.  These are relationships that I now have come to cherish and adore.

Liz and I are always encouraging parents, both new and not so new, to have support in their lives.  There are so many different kinds of support that parents need, friendship with other like-parents being an important one.  It can be uncomfortable for some to take those risks and put themselves out there to meet others, but the payoff is well worth it both for the parent and their child.

Sincerely,

From the Stork’s Nest ~

Rebecca   

Are you a parent that needs help developing supportive relationships?  Stork Support, LLC provides home-based counseling and resources to families during pregnancy, after baby arrives, through the toddler years and beyond.  As featured on ABC Action News, Stork Support delivers counseling to your doorstep with in-home visits, online video calls or telephone sessions so you can get support without having to leave your home no matter where you live.  Visit www.storksupport.com for more information.

Be Kind Rewind

I am a child of the ‘80s.  Born in 1979, I remember all the favorites: scrunches, Jon Bon Jovi back when his hair was longer than mine, rubix cubes, and the dancin’ California Raisins.  I, like most offspring of the era, spent every Friday night in the video store picking a rental (probably Dirty Dancing, Gremlins, ET or Ghost Busters).  No matter what the store, it was always decorated the same – movie posters everywhere and signs kids probably wouldn’t even understand these days: Be Kind Rewind.  For those of you younger than me, that was the video store’s gentle reminder to rewind their tapes before returning them.  Yes, kids, movies used to be on tape!

Yesterday was my birthday.  I had a wonderful weekend-long celebration with my family and friends.  I also spent some quiet time thinking about what I’d like to accomplish in this upcoming year.  Then I started thinking about something we ALL should seek to accomplish in our upcoming years: being kind to ourselves.  It’s such an easy thing to say and it looks great on paper, but just how many of us really, truly are kind to ourselves on a daily basis?  How many of us have road blocks in our lives that we ourselves have put there?  How many of us blame ourselves when something in our lives (or our children’s lives) doesn’t go exactly as planned, even if that thing is completely out of our control?  Why is it that we spent the 1980s being kind to our video cassettes but we can’t be kind to ourselves on a daily basis? 

Well, I’m not standing for it anymore!  The new 33-year old me is going to be a lot more aware, so look out people!  Here I come.  And who’s with me?  We were kind to all of those borrowed video copies of Back to the Future and Beverly Hills Cop – we certainly can find ways to be kind to ourselves on a daily basis.  So, the next time you beat yourself up about any thing – whether it’s forgetting to bring snack to your kid’s school, locking your keys in your car, or not earning Employee of the Year at work – remember to take a deep breath and repeat after me: BE KIND REWIND!

Sincerely,

From the Stork's Nest ~

Liz

Need help being kind to yourself?  Stork Support, LLC provides home-based counseling and resources to families during pregnancy, after baby arrives, through the toddler years and beyond.  As featured on ABC Action News, Stork Support delivers counseling to your doorstep with in-home visits, online video calls or telephone sessions so you can get support without having to leave your home no matter where you live.  Visit www.storksupport.com for more information.

L O V E

"May your journey be a concern for others. A Road of peace.  A path of Love." This is what it says outside the school across the street from where I work. My Mother-in-law embodies this quote. Mom's love and understanding of others is woven into all she does for us. We love her more than words can say. Love.

George a former student from Liberia in Africa now works as a helper in my school. We talk daily of our lives and hopes. George said, "Be nice to each other everyday." A simple idea and challenging; when balancing family, work and life. Wendy my, middle sister, is always demonstrating this. She is loved beyond words. Love.

While reading, The Power of Positive Thinking, I stumble on a quote my amazing sister-in-law, Ellen, has in her foyer on a gold framed chalkboard. "The way to happiness: keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry, live simply, expect little, give much. Fill your life with LOVE. Scatter sunshine. Forget self. Think of others. Do as you would be done by. Try this for a week and you will be surprised."  Love.

Each morning I am breathing in and out deeply twenty-five times before I get out of bed. This comes from my old friend, Judy, the marathon runner from Trinidad. After this I think of all of my blessings. Each day the list changes. The top is my children, Alex, Josh and Sam. Alex's light has no words. Love. Josh his extraordinary inquiry. Love. Sam and his athleticism. Love. Michael and the constant cooking, artwork and gift of fathering our boys. Love.

The helicopter by remote that flies through our living room a gift
inspired by a Christmas airplane form the Duffy's Christmas Eve. Love. Wonder. Alex watches the flight through our living room. Michael is the pilot, Josh and Sam copilot. Flying like a figure skater through the air of our one hundred and fifty year old home. The wonder. The Love. "May all our journeys be full of wonder, blessings, and since this is the season...LOVE. Let's hold each other close and remember George's wisdom. "Be nice to each other everyday." Love. Think good thoughts. Wishing you love...

Sincerely,

As a Guest in the Stork’s Nest ~

Mama Nancy

 Artwork by Michael Schwartz